Surreal.....

I have a friend at work who told me, "for your first trimester your pregnancy is very surreal".  Interestingly, since we haven't seen our midwife yet to get blood work done confirming, "yes you are definetely pregnant", I'm wondering if I am still am (though the nausea pleads a good case).  Then she continues, " during the second, when you "grow" a little bit, it becomes a bit more real, as you can see you are actually pregnant".   Then she laughs, "Then the third trimester comes and you look at your big belly and think, how is this baby suppose to come out??!?!?!?!"

Nate and I visited the birth center where, after deciding yesterday and God willing I continue to have a low risk pregnancy, we will be delivering.  YAY!!  It is good to have that decision made.  I will tell you a little about the birth center.  Overall they describe themselves as a "maxi home" as oppose to a "mini hospital".  The midwife who started it used to attend home births and wanted to open up a center where people could have a home birth experience outside their homes.  While on the tour it felt like we were in an area that had nothing to do with "medicine".  The birthing rooms are beautifully decorated like a room in a house- queen size beds, a little pool, a dresser, something that looks like a small hammock, hanging from the ceiling, that is actually for you to rest your arms in so you can stay in a prolonged squat position.....  It was weird, to imagine us delivering there.

The reasons I am excited to go there are: 1. I hope they will get to really know Nate and I.  There are 5 CNM (certified nurse midwifes) who could be at our delivery and during the course of our prenatal visits we will get to meet them all.  When I stand butt naked in front of someone helping me with my labor, other than my husband, I hope to have somewhat of a relationship with them.....  Also trust is very huge.  Over the course of our prenatal visits I hope to increase a trust in their skills and knowledge so I can completely have a confidence in them and know that they are not practicing sketchy medicine (birthing center or bust!! I hope not!!) but will be evaluting me and baby as much as they need.  2. Hello I work at a hospital, and even though it is good, I would like to have an out of hospital experience that includes non-pharmalogical methods to get the job done!  I am excited to learn anything different from what I do in the hospital to help women give birth.  I think I have become a bit persuaded, if you will, from working on a high risk unit.  Also, I hear and read stories of wonderful natural loving births and I want in!   I was never really skeptical of the place, but I definetely needed to hear what they had to say about themselves and how they practice.  Towards the end, we heard things that made us say yes to delivering there. There are "medical" interventions they will do if needed (they aren't so anti-medicine to be ignorant of good practices).   3.  I want to be empowered in my pregnancy and delivery and I think these are the people to make it happen.   I hope they will be encouraging, resourceful, and loving. 

We have to pre-resister with Swedish hospital (right across the street) so if anything happens the transition is fast and smooth.  We get to labor at home for a while, at least until we are in active labor (which is what I wanted).  Nate can be involved as much as he wants (and I'll let him tell you all about that:P).  We have to take 4 "natural childbirth" classes, as well as ones on newborn care and breastfeeding.  They have post partum support and lacation support. 

All in all I am excited to have our first prenatal visit with them on Monday.  Hopefully they will draw my blood and definetely let me know I am pregnant:) 

Thank you for your continued prayers and thoughts. 
Love, angie