Only 31 more days to go. It's been quite a while since I have written. Hopefully I will remember all the thoughts from the last 2 months in two years, 10 years.... but prob not. So I will summarize what I remember.
How are you feeling?
Well honestly the "30's" have been the best weeks for me so far. They have been fast and enjoyable. Physically I have felt great. I enjoy exercising still- hiking and swimming mostly (swimming actually has been appealing to me which I didn't really enjoy that much before), I haven't done the eliptical in a while or ran. Nate and I occasionally take the bikes out. We did a backpacking trip into Lost Creek Wilderness June 11th-13th. I was wiped out at the end of each day, but it felt great to be outside, breathing in the evergreen air. We also did a hike in Frisco CO called Mount Royal. It ascents about 1000 ft in one mile. It was quite a steep hike. The view was amazing. There is even a rock climb you can do from the other side. Not so much now for me:) Nate wants to do it with a friend named Cael:) Murster even came and carried her own pack:) Swimming has been fun. I'll swim about 30 min and hopefully get in a 1/2 mile- doggie paddle, butterfly and overhand. It feels nice to be weightless and the water on my skin feels nice. Last week we hiked around Golden Gate State Park. It was beautiful. 3 miles of up and down kinda took it out of me though:)
I didn't realize how much bigger I've gotten from 31-35 weeks. The pictures show it, but I really don't feel it. At 35 weeks now, I am still just as tired after a 12hr shift as I was at 31 weeks. My hips don't hurt and my back really hasn't bothered me. Occasionally, if I am just sitting down, I will feel the weight of my belly . I feel like it just sticks out, like my abdominal muscle are not doing a thing. But if I practice good body mechanics, sitting up straight and core strength, it feels more secure. Some nights my legs will feel restless. But Nate's rubs help a ton and actually do the trick. Afterward I feel like I can rest and sleep. Other nights it takes me a while to get comfortable before falling asleep (despite my access to 5 large pillows to support me). And then some nights as I fall asleep I feel like I can only take a 1/2 breath because of my large abdomen (might be my stomach too:) Mostly I can sleep through the night and have been getting good sleep. Occasionally I will wake up around 2-5 in the morning and not be able to sleep for 1-2 hours. Anxious thoughts, stupid thoughts, thoughts, prayers, things to do, weird dreams, bad movies, all get into my mind to keep me up. I am too lazy to get out of bed to read or do something, so I normally just toss there for a while.
How have the appointments been going?
Well, we finished our natural childbirthing class at the end of June. The four week class was amazing. I learned a ton about natural childbirth- which I hope to take back with me to work to help other natural laboring moms. I think I learned more in these classes than I did in my L&D orientation. I won't go into it all though. After the second week I struggled a lot with flesh and spirit; How I thought I would be in labor and postpartum and how I actually wanted to be. I battled with thoughts focused around irrational fears- like I would turn inward and not involve Nate. Doubt, like Nate and I would fail at working together, and this weird fear for Nate feeling helpless during the whole labor thing and not know what to do or say. It is kinda weird to explain, but basically when I see a laboring mom, moaning and in so much pain, I feel helpless, and dont like the look on her face. I was afraid for making those faces towards Nate and having him feel awful for me. So basically I thought, if I knew he was ok with seeing me that way (mostly by telling me I was beautiful in those situations) I would feel ok with doing what felt natural to do. Nate and I had to communicate a lot about what we invisioned for labor and how we could help each other and what we wanted. Nate basically was ready to be here for me however I needed. I didn't know what I would like, and I struggled with figuring myself out. In the end, I chose love and the truth of the Gospel- no fear, praying always, and if the change is led by God, He will be with me, and I have nothing to fear. I told Nate some things I think I will like him to do for me. Even though he is ready to do anything I ask of him, I told him I wanted him to know things he could do for me without me asking him- like just being with me- possibly in silence, taking charge if he needed to (if I start doubting myself), to help with distractions- making jokes, helping me to switch up positions, put on new music, dimming the lights, etc. It was a challenging week, but God reminded me, I make the decision to chose love or fear.
Our appointments will start every week now. At the last one, everything measured right where we were suppose to be. Good fundal height, good weight, good heart beat, and of course, head down!! We signed up for our "Well Baby" and "Breastfeeding" classes.
I have been feeling our baby boy move A LOT more now. Probably around 33 weeks he really is jabbing me, turning, moving his butt from the right to center part of the uterus. I feel strange pokes. Occasionally he will really spaz and catch me off guard. Mostly when he moves I feel this uncomfortable pressure in my bladder. Towards the end of the day when I have been on my feet most of the day I pee a ton because I think it is resting on the top of my bladder:)
Like I said, overall the 30's have been great. I am not stressed out as much about things compared to stuff I worried about in the 20's. Nate and I are having a good time just hanging out. I really am enjoying being pregnant. I like feeling pregnant- seeing the belly, feeling his movements. I think of what it will be like when I do not have a pregnant body! That will be weird! I feel like I have been pregnant forever. I looked at a pic at the beginning back in december when we just found out- "I looked like that?!?!" They are just fun thoughts. We finished the baby's room- refinished a dresser, and finally ordered the crib! This friday my work is having a baby shower for us, and after that we will buy the remainder of the things we need/want! I am looking forward to some of the 36-40week milestones- feeling the baby drop, etc. I am also looking forward to not working in the hospital for a while! Even though we will be working weird hours, through the nights, but with a different job description:)
God has been good to us in this pregnancy. Like I said earlier, if He is in the change, then I have nothing to fear. We know He has been with us from the beginning. My life, my husband and our baby all belong to Him. He is a wonderful creator of life. I am excited to experience one unique part of His creation.
Blessings!
Angie
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